That Shit was Ill, Yo!

I got out of the apartment last night and joined my buddy, The Jim Cremins, for an evening of short films and stage productions put on by Left Hip Productions.  They had a great concept and the execution was amazing considering the lack of budget for the videos.  All in all, it was a great night.  I hope to join up with them in the future to collaborate on a few projects.

So, after the show, Jim and I walked up to Times Square and caught our respective trains home.  Him on the N train to Queens and me on the N train to Brooklyn.  As we approached the stairs leading down to our platforms, my train arrived.  I said a quick good-by to Jim, exchanged a pound, and hauled ass down the stairs.  A mob was already awaiting the N train on the platform, so as soon as the doors slid open, the cars filled up.  I was (un)lucky enough to jump on the last car.  Being able to take the N train all the way home is a blessing.  Otherwise, I would have to stop at Atlantic/Pacific in Brooklyn and transfer to the R train.  On late nights, the N train runs all of the R train stops, so I was able to "settle" in for the ride all they way home.  I took my lean in one of the corners of the train car and pulled out my phone to complete a crossword puzzle or two on the ride back.

Now, typically, the trains aren't quiet.  People talk.  Some talk on cell phones.  Others to one another.  Some are paranoid schizophrenics who talk to people who aren't even there.  This particular night there was a large black family that took up a good deal of the end of the car I happened to occupy as well.  When I say they were a large family, I mean that in both quantity and size.  Along with this mass came the boisterous voices of women talking about some trifling "ni**a (that) be cheatin all the time!"  Now, usually I'm not bothered by loud people (except kids...kids that are loud are often obnoxious), however this woman just had this attitude and voice about her that just got under my skin.

Okay, now combine that woman with the large Asian family that was standing up across from me at my end of the car.  Now when I say large, I only mean in quantity.  These were the wiry semi-dorky Asian types.  The dad was loud as hell, too...but he was speaking a different language.

So now I have Miss Air-Out-All-My-Shit-And-Not-Give-A-Fuck versus Mr. Loud-Foreign-Language-Guy.  Every now and then Loud-Foreign-Language-Guy would pull ahead, but mainly because he was so close to me and was trying to entertain his kids by fake fighting with them...seriously!  Like making hitting noises and using his legs to throw his kids around!  It was like some insane training for reject Spartans!

Miss Air-Out-All-My-Shit-And-Not-Give-A-Fuck pretty much maintained the lead by informing the entire train that this guy was a dumb-ass and that his "boo" became suspicious about some phone calls that kept coming in and he tried saying it was bill collectors.  Apparently this tactic doesn't work.  Also, apparently if you're attractive it's a pass to cheat...or at least be forgiven for cheating.  This woman went on about how "he uh ugly ni**a, too!"  I guess ugly people don't get a pass.

At some point, the Asian family forfeited and left the train, allowing Miss Air-Out-All-My-Shit-And-Not-Give-A-Fuck to do her victory lap which included talking over the conductor.  I don't know how many NYC subways you've been on, but when a conductor talks over the loudspeaker, it's near impossible to understand him/her.  Couple that with the fact that they usually choose to use the loudspeaker when the door are wide open and another train is passing on a nearby track and it gets even more difficult.  Now add this loud mouth bitch into the equation and I didn't hear a damn thing the conductor said!

This can be kinda important since the conductor will often announce that we can all go fuck ourselves and find a different way home since this particular train will only go to two more stops.  Luckily this turned out not to be the case...this time.  And the woman kept jawing.

By then, I'd managed to get so upset by these loud individuals that I'd broken into a sweat and had troubles concentrating on my crosswords.  Allow me to share a quote from a psychopath in a fictional film:

On the subway today, a man came to me to
                   start a conversation.  He made small talk,
                   this lonely man, talking about the weather
                   and other things.  I tried to be pleasant
                   and accommodating, but my head began to
                   hurt from his banality.  I almost didn't
                   notice it had happened, but I suddenly
                   threw up all over him.  He was not pleased,
                   and I couldn't help laughing.

...I wanted to throw up on this woman.  I literally felt nauseous, leaning in my corner, drenched in a cold sweat.  My stomach began to turn and my head felt lighter by the minute.  I eventually returned my phone to the lower right cargo pocket of my shorts and held on, trying not to think about the bile I wished to spew on this woman.  She had been drowning me in her filth for 20 minutes.  The least I could do was return the favor.  

Finally I came to my stop and quickly exited the train.  I made my way up the stairs and breathed in the cool, fresh air.  I felt the evening breeze bringing relief to my dampened skin.  And, finally, I went home.

New Yorkers are such assholes!!

Amanda and I loved to come up to New York and visit before we moved here.  It seemed like every time we came up here, there was some pompous know-it-all asshole in the subway trying to help us when we couldn't find our way around town through the rail system!  I mean, the audacity of these people to ask us if we need help just because we're looking at a map!

Oh!  And then there was the day we were meeting up with a friend who was in town visiting.  We had just moved to Brooklyn and could officially consider ourselves "New Yorkers" when we popped out of the subway downtown Manhattan and this old guy, who was ordering some other poor person around (probably some tourist!), took my momentary pause to orientate myself as me not knowing where to go and demands to help out.  Being the southern gentleman that I am and not wanting to be a dick, I kindly tell him we just need to find south.  This prick not only guides me south, but explains the cross streets and "helps" me get my orientation.

And just the other day, there was a group of Asian teens cutting up and goofing off on the F train when an elderly woman got on at one of the stops.  This one kid had the gall to get up and let her have his seat!  Like she can't stand or something!  Like her fucking legs are broken!

I'm getting too worked up over this...I'll report more later.  Fuckin' New Yorkers!

Je Suis Fatigué.

It's been a bit since I've been able to blog.  I went back to Charlotte, NC for Brennan and Hannah Roth's wedding.  It was awesome!  It was also really nice to get back to Charlotte for a few days and catch up with some friends and actually drive a car around town!

Amanda and I went by our old house.  It was a bit weird, but I didn't really have the emotional response I thought I might.  I think this entire move to NY is still a bit surreal.  Leaving NYC for five days, then returning to our Brooklyn apartment definitely helps make New York feel more like home.

So, nobody told me to stop talking about our move-in experience, therefore I will pick up where I left off on my last check-in.

(Brief note: When we came back home from the wedding, there was still nothing express about the Staten Island Expressway.  In fact, we found that they even mock us by posting 50 mph speed limits.)

Okay, the move in.  As I stated in my last blog, we made it to our new apartment at 7:00pm.  The suck thing is, we were supposed to be here at 6:30pm for the two guys that we hired to help us move in.  By the time we got here and got the truck in position and the keys to our apartment, it was close to 7:30.  As this was a Saturday, our hired help had to be done by 8:00, but agreed to stay until 8:30 to help us out.  Since we got such a late start, we asked them to focus on the big stuff.

We are on the top floor of a four story walk up...with a narrow stairwell.  I know you're thinking, "That sucks, but you have help, so it shouldn't be too bad.  All you have to do is grab the small stuff."

And you would be totally correct in thinking that, if, the day prior we hadn't had to spend half a day in Charlotte heat and humidity packing the truck!  Then driving an hour to Waxhaw only to load more into the truck.  Then stay up way too late to get as much family time in as we could before we went to bed, got up way too early and spent way too long on the road driving.  By the time we got to Brooklyn all we wanted to do was get a bite to eat, lay down and go to sleep.  But no...we still had to move our stuff up three flights of stairs and into our new home.  AND...because the staircase was so narrow and the help limited, I had to jump in on several occasions to help get the big stuff upstairs.

About half way through, Amanda and I were beyond exhausted.  Our legs were on the verge of giving out.  We just didn't have it in us anymore, physically.  So I called for backup.  Joey Westcott became our savior that night!!  He showed up and just jumped in!  He was grabbing stuff and running upstairs and setting it down.  He was like Superman to our Handyman.  We couldn't have finished without him!

One of our movers made a deal with me...he would give me another 15 minutes if I would allow him to use our restroom to freshen up so he could get to Manhattan.  I would be an idiot to deny him!  Even if he couldn't give me the extra 15 minutes, I would be an asshole to deny him!  By the time the movers were done, all of our big items were in the apartment.  Joey stuck it in there with us until it was over completely.  Just as we were grabbing the last of the small stuff, the rain started.  It held off as long as it could.

For anyone out there that thinks all New Yorkers are just a bunch of assholes, let me give you a different idea of what I've experienced.  As the movers and I were trying to figure out where to pull the truck up to be as close as possible to the building, one of my neighbors came out to help.  He moved his car, then his motorcycle.  He opened the gate in front of my building and helped guide the truck back into the driveway.  When we finished up, he came back to help close everything up and get the truck out.  That was just our first experience with New Yorkers.  There will be more to come...

With love,

Your NYC Scrub

Back dat thang up.

Okay, when I started this blog I assumed that if anyone was going to read it, it would be my wife...and maybe a friend or two.  It has come to my attention that other people who may not know me may be following this.  So, I'll give a brief rundown of my life:

Born in Honolulu, Hawai'i to a Taiwanese mother and Scots-Irish father who was serving his country in the Air Force at the time and stationed at Hickam AFB.  I moved a lot as a kid.  From Hawai'i to Maine, to Nebraska, to Germany, to Texas where my father retired from the Air Force and moved home to North Carolina.  I ended up in Charlotte when I was about 15.  I went to college at UNC-Wilmington and then went back to Charlotte.  I met my wife, we bought a house, we got married and about a month ago, we moved to NYC!

I've visited NYC on many occasions, but none of those vacations could have prepared me for living here!

Now that you have a bit of knowledge about me, we'll fast-forward to moving day.  I rented a 16' box truck and packed to its' ass with all of our belongings.  When I say it was packed to the ass, I mean it!  There was about enough room left to toss in all of Lebron James' championship rings!

We spent our last night in Charlotte with my in-laws and woke up at 4 o'clock on the morning of May 14th and began our trip to our future home at 5:30am.  Considering I was in a 16' box truck and could only drive about 65 mph (for the sake of gas mileage) and my wife, Amanda, was driving our car with our two dogs aboard, we made decent time.  We arrived at our Brooklyn apartment at 7pm.

Now, let me also say a few things about the drive.

One, the New Jersey Turnpike is boring as hell!  Also, I'm not sure who came up with the "logo" for the New Jersey Turnpike, but it looks about as professional as a high school freshman with aspirations of drawing stick figures for a living.  If you've never seen it, check it out here: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=new+jersey+turnpike&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1440&bih=749

Two, when traveling with a cat, a half of a feline dose of Valium is not enough to shut them up.  Getting them to take the second half is impossible...I don't know why.  I've had Valium before...I would have taken the second half.

Three, there is absolutely NOTHING express about the Staten Island Expressway...NOTHING!!  I even went to Jersey yesterday and returned on the SIE and it was just as congested as it was when I moved up here.

Four, if you can, drive in the center lane.  Lanes will end with absolutely no notice.

Five, the Verrazano Bridge is narrow.  VERY narrow.  My wife was driving our Toyota Yaris and was scared of how narrow the lanes were...I was in a 16' box truck.  And people were still passing me!

Six, you can't talk on your cell phone in NYC.  As I crossed into Brooklyn over the Verrazano, my broker called to meet me at my new apartment.  As we were working out details, I was waved down by NYC's finest.  As I was pulling over, one of them yelled to the other, "He can't hear you!  He's on his cell phone!"  I pulled over and got off the phone.  I rolled down my window as the officer approached and the conversation went something like this:

Officer: "Where are you coming from?"
Me: "Charlotte, North Carolina."
Officer: "They don't have cell phone laws in North Carolina?"
Me:  "Nope!"
Officer, realizing his point was lost: "Well you can't talk on your cell phone and operate a vehicle in New York City.  If you had a New York City license, that would be two points on your license."
Me:  "Okay."

I was then asked to step out of the truck and open the back.  It was explained to me that New York was on high alert and had to stop all trucks entering the city and search them.  Welcome to New York!

I think that's about all for the actual drive up.  I'll be back soon to explain our move in.

By the way, if this is boring and you have no interest in hearing about the actual move, let me know and I'll skip it and move on.

Thank you, NYC...for kicking me in the nuts.

(Disclaimer, if you've already read my Facebook post this morning, you might just want to pass on this one, unless you want the full story, unabridged.  (It's a bit funnier!))

Amanda and I were on our way home on my birthday from dinner and drinks when I notice a ticket on the windshield of our car.  I grabbed it off the windshield and took a look.  It was a citation for parking in a restricted construction zone.

Okay, so yes, they are working on the train trestle across the street from my apartment.  And yes, they often block off a lot of street side parking because of said construction.  They usually throw out a bunch of orange barrels where they will be blocking parking and put out signs on when they will need that street cleared.  That said, I actually moved my car to the spot where I got the ticket because I was in one of the construction spots originally.  There were three other cars along with mine that were wrongly ticketed.  I took pictures of everything around my car to prove that there were no signs anywhere regarding parking in those places.

I then went online to dispute the ticket and found out that I had to wait a week before the ticket processed into the system!  But, I had to dispute the ticket within 30 days of getting it or I would get a late fee.  Not really that big of a deal, but when a quarter of your time is taken away from you, that's some bullshit!

After much cussing and realizing I could do nothing, I let it go.  I will revisit in a week.

Then this morning I got up to let Abigail and Red out.  As I stood there with two leashes in my hand and urine running down the sidewalk, I looked up to realize my car wasn't where I parked it.  See, I moved my car the previous day after receiving the ticket so I wouldn't get another one.  I parked it right past a section that was barreled off for construction...apparently that wasn't a good place either, even though there was nothing telling me not to park there!

After picking up a small mound of poop off of the sidewalk, I returned to my apartment...pissed as fuck!!  After a stomping rant full of expletives, I went online to find out where my car had gone.  I went on the NYC.gov site and put my plate number in...nothing.  I tried again...nothing.  So I called and they put it into the system...nothing.  I told them about the construction and they said it was possible they "relocated" my vehicle.

Tangent:  WHAT THE FUCK!!??  Back where I'm from, if a tow truck picks up your car, you have to pay dearly to get it back!  Even if you catch them before they drive away, you have to pay!  I have NEVER heard of a tow truck relocating a vehicle to a spot that is more convenient to the people who had it towed.

Okay, I'm back now.  I was told to contact the NYPD precinct that would have been responsible for the tow.  The woman was nice enough to connect me.  Nobody answered, so I went out on foot to walk a few blocks to see if I could find it.  I walked down to 2nd Ave, cut across to 11th Street, back up to 4th Ave and back down 10th Street to my apartment...nothing.

I went back upstairs and tried calling the precinct directly.  They looked it up in the system and, yup, you guessed it...nothing!  I explained that it was towed because of construction and she told me they may have relocated it.  Okay, where would they have relocated it to?  NOTHING!!  I was actually told to walk around and look for it!!  WHAT THE FUCK!!??

So I went back out on foot.  I covered several more blocks before returning to my street...nothing.  I decided to ask one of the construction workers who was directing traffic.  He tells me they towed it to the Lowe's Home Improvement a few blocks from my place.  Another guy walked up and asked where I had parked it.  After I told him, he tried telling me there were signs out that told me not to park there.  I told him I was parked past those signs and in my best I'm-really-pissed-off-don't-fuck-with-me-pseudo-Brooklyn voice I said, "I'm not stupid, I know where to park!"  Then I walked off, somewhat defeated and very hopeful, in the direction of Lowe's.

And I found the car.  Then I ended up looping block to block in search of a parking space.  I found one a half-hour later.  So after 2+ hours of that bullshit, I got to go home, eat breakfast, take a shower and then a nap.  And as I complain about this ordeal, Amanda had to go to work and deal with 8+ hours of bullshit!

With Love,

Your NYC Scrub.

Anyone out there?

So I started a blog...which means I need to keep up with a blog.  I had two friends read it (that I know of) and figured I should just keep writing, if even just for the two of them!

So here it goes...

I received a card from my parents on Friday for my birthday.  There was a nice check in said card.  I have money!!  I also received a check from my agent for an industrial shoot I did a few months back that I totally forgot about.  Score!!  (On a side note, I'm hoping my agent doesn't read this and figure since I forgot about that one, I'll forget about any others and just stop paying me!)

So, without a proper job in Brooklyn, I've managed to make some money to keep me afloat!  Now I just have to wait patiently for my Army Wives residual checks to come in!

Okay, back to the job deal...I'm still not working, obviously.  I have a lot of time to sit around and think of ideas, then not write them down, and totally forget them.  By ideas, I mean for shorts or scripts or comedy routines.  I feel like this is the place where I need to be the most creative.  I think I have an idea for short comedy, but I need to write it and figure out how to get it shot.  Maybe I'll just do it!  That's what it takes, right?  Just going out and doing it!?  Nothing gets done sitting on my ass, except some writing and this blog.

I'm going home next week.  When I return, I must hit the ground running and accomplish something!  I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm loving Brooklyn more and more!  Went out this past weekend and met some really cool peeps that live in the neighborhood and are from Charlotte.  Funny story actually.  Went out for my birthday on Friday night, Jim came out and chilled for a bit then went home to rest up for another long day of work.  He crossed paths with Kris who arrived with shots in hand.  Got to catch up with him for a while when his friends Derek and Erica showed up.  Hung out with them, Amanda and Erica hit it off and Derek and I had a good time as well (at least I hope he did, too).  Ended up going back to their place to chill after leaving the bar.  At the end of the night (around 3:30am) we decided to leave.  Derek and I went to exchange numbers.  As he was programming my number, my name popped up.  I was already in his phone!  I decided to check my phone and...sure enough, there he was!  We were both to messed up to really think about it that night, but we obviously had met at some point prior.

I digress.  Amanda and I also did some work on the apartment on Sunday to make it feel a bit more like home, so we feel better about that as well.  I took a long walk today up to the Target at Flatbush and Atlantic, right next to the currently-constructing Brooklyn Nets arena.  Good walk.  Love the neighborhood.  Took care of some business I've been putting off.  Feels good to check things off my list.  Still feeling like a scrub!  Especially when Amanda gives me cash for spending.  Glad I got some money of my own to spend now!

I think I've said enough.  I'll try to write again tomorrow.  Thanks for checking in!

Have ambition, will work...some.

So, I've been in Brooklyn for about two and a half weeks and I've accomplished just about nothing.  I've barely looked for work.  Still haven't completely settled into the apartment.  Still haven't changed my phone number.  Still haven't gotten a NYS driver license.  Still haven't canceled insurance on our old house or car.  Still haven't cleaned the apartment to my liking or expectations.  Honestly, most of this comes out of being overwhelmed.  There is just so much to do and I'm so unfamiliar with the area.  They say you can pretty much do anything in NYC, but all I really want to do is hang out with my friends from Charlotte, drink a cold beer at Sanctuary and drive my car to South Park mall and walk around in the A/C.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Brooklyn!  When Amanda and I get out and walk around Prospect Park or I meet up with her at Bryant Park for lunch during the week, everything feels great and right!  I think I just have too much time to think while sitting on my ever-expanding ass while watching SportsCenter and wondering what time Amanda is going to be off of work.  Mix in a few trips downstairs to let the dogs out (which is just enough movement to get me sweating again) and you pretty much have my typical weekday.

I did recently send my headshot off to three different projects on Actors' Access but heard nothing back.  I also submitted my resume to a feature film that shoots in NYC in July to work as crew, but still waiting on that as well.  I found the "perfect" job yesterday online for an Office/Studio Manager position at a photography studio and submitted my resume to them.  I say "perfect" because the breakdown almost seemed to be written for me!  It's essentially what I did for over two years working for Stephanie Chesson in Charlotte.  Still waiting to hear from them as well.  We'll see how "perfect" they find me to be.

Part of my reasoning for not finding a job is my career.  I need to find a job that I can work and still be able to audition and act.  I also would like to take classes, but those cost money, which I don't have...cause I don't work.  I also need to update my headshots...again, money.  I feel like I had the perfect balance in Charlotte, but it took time for me to find.  I just need to be patient and the balance will come.

I think I've rambled enough.  Until next time...